May 2012
“I don’t want people to matter to me too much. Sometimes it hurts too much to...”
– Henry Rollins (via pornandgore)
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At a dive bar with my parents.
I feel like I’m in the fuckin’ Cantina in A New Hope. Retched hive of scum and villainy. I went to elementary school with most of them.
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Random Superhero Generator!
Andrew is able to force rabbits to ramble incoherently. Also, he has learned to transform dust into magic and he can cause his rivals to become terrible at diplomacy. Andrew has mastered the ability to make werewolves appear from nowhere and he has been known to teleport by swinging from nearby buildings using an uncommon motorcycle, however only while concentrating....
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There's a bus station between my house and...
I’ve never gotten off the bus and explored there but knowing this city and it’s awful gift for irony, I’m betting it’s pretty awful.
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It never fails.
Since Avengers came out (amazing, by the way. Fucking go see it RIGHT NOW), on the daily, I see someone post something to the effect of “OMG Now that Avengers is out what will I do with my life blah blah feels blah blah love these characters, etc.” You know, the characters haven’t ceased to exist. And they aren’t dormant until the next movie. There is 50+ years of comic...
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How to tell the difference between different...
POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL: The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.
GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
STONER METAL: The protagonist arrives ON the Dragon and befriends him over a few bong hits. The princess then gets on the Dragon's back too, and they all fly to the mystical wizard's castle and get even more baked. They stare at the wall for a couple of hours, giggle inanely and wake up in a field.
everything is so much clearer now.
April 2012
“When I was younger, I never had a very clear idea of what I wanted to be when I...”
– Jesse Lacey (via futurewarss)
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Oh my fuck.
Me and Dev have our Avengers tickets and I’m pretty stoked. OMG GUYS LESS THAN TWO WEEKS. Also, I yet again have a health card so I can A)Go to the doctor’s (which I haven’t done in like three years) and B)verify that I am, in fact, 26 years old and am therefor legally allowed to buy beer, even if I do look like a 16 year old boy with a beard.
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ticket holder at the movie theatre: enjoy your movie
me: thanks you too
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“Why do my nipples hurt?”
– Aaron Graham
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I've been riding around on an E-bike since...
I don’t know if I feel incredibly dorky, or unbelievably awesome, but I’ve found, in my life, it’s best not to make a distinction between the two.
I've been better.
March 2012
“If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am....”
– Perks of Being a Wallflower (via missremember)
“The easiest way to avoid living is just to watch.”
– Chuck Palahniuk, ‘Lullaby’ (via mixtapeconversation)
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Gone out drinking with my parents.
I’m obviously the coolest person y’all know. Don’t give a fuck.
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You are calm and reposed, let your beauty unfold
Pale white like the skin stretched over your bones
Spring keeps you ever close, you are second-hand smoke
You are so fragile and thin, standing trial for your sins
Holding onto yourself the best you can
You are the smell before rain
You are the blood in my veins
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